End of day 3/90 days of habit making

End of day 3!

It's a tough day. I've reached the initial breakdown or disruption of my plans.
I have become very tired upon waking up and unable to continue my daily program from 7.00am. I suspect and have sort of pre-empted this, my body is unable to compensate for the lack of stamina from the daily workout. I believe this will subside and shouldn't affect my plans heavily.

I didn't put in 100% of my time into work today either. But I fought the laziness and unmotivated me to do work that I was satisfied with. I will put in Saturday into work as well.

On a good note, as mentioned I am proud of my work done and the exercise I've completed today. I ran slower than yesterday but I was in slightly worse shape than yesterday and yesterday was a cool run after the rain.

Also my shirt is starting to "shrink". That means I'm regaining my shoulders/deltoids and pecs, albeit slowly.

I pray that my efforts are not for naught, as they began with a single purpose. To change and better myself so that I may be a good provider for the woman I love. I hope she'll give me another chance and eventually be my wife.

I pray for strength and favour, especially to woo this beautiful lady and that she'll be wooed, Amen.

End of day 2/90 days of habit making

Hah I screwed up big time today.
Woke up at like 11am...

Didn't get my exercise done or reach work at 10am.
I didn't really do work today either but that's because I was setting up and installing my new laptop (Thank you boss!)

It took some time to do all the installations and it's great that everything is ready for work. I even took the laptop home today to finish up the setup.

I made up for the exercises by working out and running. Going to have my dinner now...

Was daydreaming in the shower... funny huh. Feels good to be sticking to a regime but if I know myself, I would be hitting the low mood cycle in 1 - 2 weeks. That's where the tough stuff begins. I rest my life in Your hands. Amen!

End of day 1/90 days of habit making

Hoooo...

What a tough day. Well I failed the very first one. Slept at 1.30am instead of 12.00am. I'll try to sleep at 12.00 tonight. I did my exercises, left home for work and worked hard.

All was well today. Other than sleeping at 12.00 -_-'''

Work was horrid today. I wasted 2-3 days of effort. Turns out what I coded wasn't what my boss wanted. Guess I'll have to work even harder tomorrow.

And I got a summons for parking at the road!
Double, Triple, Quadraple whammy today. Really bad day. I wished the lady I love is in my arms, hugging me tight and consoling me. I guess not. I pray I will be stronger tomorrow. Amen.

A new season of life

Many things have changed, at least since Rainy day. Love... is no longer part of my life. The woman I loved, has for the second time, chosen to give up on the relationship between us.

I do personally feel that the time wasn't right. I pray that I can return, as a better man. And I didn't think her participation was helping. All in all, I do value her. But I've learnt one thing. To depend on myself and not others. Encouragement is but, a passing advertisement board that says "You can do it". The journey still has to be made by me.

I'm also somewhat miffed that she was the one who told me, "It takes 90 days to make a habit" and at the same time she gave up on me in a month's time.

I do love her. But now's not the time for that. 90 days, this is day 1. Even though it's not really day 1, but I believe that today plays a part in tomorrow. So even tomorrow is day 1, my efforts today will make tomorrow a better success.

Dear God, I pray that you help me. Help me forge the good habits and break the bad ones. I do really want to love this woman, help me to change to be a better person. I also pray that when the time comes for her to choose, I shall be the better choice and wanted choice.

Give me the strength to traverse this 90 days of habit making and breaking. And I pray that 90 days do make a habit. Otherwise it'll be in vain, or rather my expectations would have been shattered.

I pray and I pray again, help me Father. Amen.

Rainy day

Hey everyone... Or rather, my dear blog.

How have you been?
I've decided to turn you into my personal blog while Turtle Speed Coder changes to my programming blog.

It has been a long year of 2011 and now is 2012 (though it's already March by now).
Many things have changed. Love, life, work, hobby.

Not exactly struggling to juggle these. I'm more of attempting to juggle the stress created by handling these. Sometimes I really have to talk to myself and let my logical side control my emotional side.

I pray to God that my logic will prevail most of the time. Else, my character will not grow properly. Or rather, letting my emotional side run wild and free is going to create more problems for myself.

And it has been a rainy day, my mood was kinda off. Didn't want to leave home to go to work. In the end, I reached office at 12.30pm. Still a part time worker and based on project, you could call me a freelancer which I am. In any case, I hope to return to this blog a better and stronger person. In God I trust.